Guru

first_img Comments are closed. This week’s guruNaked truth about dreamsResearch released last week reveals that more than half of us havenightmares about our jobs. The study, sponsored by the Government’s Learndirect campaign, reveals that57 per cent blame general stress for their work-related bad dreams. Dreams expert Craig Hamilton-Parker reveals that if your nightmares featureyou arguing with your boss you are stressed, while dreams about being late fora meeting signify an inability to switch off from work. If you wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming of walking into work naked,you are worried about your place on the career ladder. However, Guru has some doubts about the depths of Hamilton-Parker’s insight.Apparently, he claims if you dream of getting the sack, you’re worried aboutredundancy, and if your nightmare features your computer crashing, you don’tlike IT – Never! Guru challenges Hamilton- Parker to explain why in his recurring nightmarehe is being pecked repeatedly by a giant penguin who is dressed in a tutu andis carrying out his annual appraisal. Guru’s lurve-in failed to rank social standingGuru was inundated with e-mails fromdisciples anxious to make contact with contrib-utors to his HR pre-Valentine’sDay lurve-in featured in last week’s issue. He has big hopes for the Welsh duo, numbers 6 and 13, who eachexpressed an interest in each other’s message.However, research just published by the University’s of Essex’sInstitute for Social and Economic Research reveals that if their relationshipis to blossom, it is important that their ‘human capital’ or career potentialmatches. According to the authors, humans looking for a mate in the 21stcentury are most interested in finding someone whose human capital potentialmeets or exceeds their own. We assess education, motivation and commitmentbecause subconsciously we want to find someone who will help us maximise ourown potential. The report cites the coupling of the Blairs. Cherie’s careerhas helped Tony present himself as the very image of the modern family man,while his has boosted her legal profile. Many romantics will surely dismiss this human capital theory ascynical rubbish – Guru for one.Sentimentalist that he is, he proposed to Mrs Guru one specialnight after too many glasses of cider and because she was the only girl in hissmall Dorset village he wasn’t (that closely) related to.TV adverts fail to sell the jobGuru hears the police have got it allwrong when it comes to recruitment. TV funnyman Johnny Vaughn told Guru at therecent RAD Awards that the advert that shows boxer Lennox Lewis – theheavyweight champion of the world – doubting whether he could cut it as acopper will never attract new staff. If the hardest man on earth isn’t toughenough, he surmised, then what chance have the rest of us? The Army haven’t got it right either. Vaughn says the average18-year-old isn’t interested in whether they are going to develop lots ofskills and have loads of career opportunities, as the advert on the boxsuggests. It needs to involve firing guns, driving tanks, having fistfights after the pub closes and getting lucky with nurses. Guru thinks he mightbe on to something. Porn writer past could be usefulGuru is no prude but even he was shocked by an e-mail from adisciple who responded to his appeal to hear about unusual jobs readers hadbefore entering HR.The lady concerned, who understandably would rather remainanonymous, explained: “My weird and wonderful job opportunity was arequest from Men Only in the early 1970s to write about my sex life as wellas  my neighbours! I was meant to openlydiscuss sex via the medium of their magazine; what it was like for workingpeople, with children, in the post ’60s era.” Guru is glad to hear she eventually turned her back on a careeras a porn writer and instead used her skills to secure a job in the HRprofession. Although no doubt knowledge of 360-feedback, personal appraisalsand performance management would have been extremely useful during certainsocial gatherings in the swinging ’70s. Previous Article Next Article Related posts:No related photos. GuruOn 18 Feb 2003 in Personnel Todaylast_img read more